What to do if your time machine breaks down
The T.T.C. Staff
If you’re unfortunate enough to be working with an unpredictable piece of time manipulation equipment, then you are probably already familiar with accidental time destinations and what to do in those types of situations. But since these things can happen even with the best equipment, here’s a general overview of what has helped the experienced time travelers on the T.T.C. Staff to get through these character-building moments.
1. Stay calm. Panicking is completely unproductive and will only give your fellow travelers (if you have any) material to make fun of you later. Or before, depending.
2. Check for injuries. It’s been our experience that when there is a mechanical failure of some kind with the old time machine, there is often a lot of turbulence that comes with it. And all of this quick, jerky movement might cause injury even if you and your crew are strapped down.
3. Take in your surroundings. This, of course, assumes that you have surroundings to take in. If you are trapped in the void of time and space there really isn’t much this article can do about it since what you really need is a good time machine mechanic to get you out of there. Good luck with that, by the way. But if you should be fortunate enough to have avoided the void, it’s a good idea to look out side of your vehicle for a variety of reasons such as scavenging for improvisable spare parts or checking that your time machine did not cause harm to any creatures or other natural or man made phenomena that you might be held financially (and morally) responsible for by the local populace.
4. Determine location in time and space. Basically self-explanatory. Look around the place where/when you ended up to figure out where/when exactly you are. This is also a good way to test if the navigation equipment in your craft is also defective (because it’s not as if you could have broken it). And it makes it easier to gauge how far away you are from where/when you intended to be.
5A. Signal for help if problem with vehicle is beyond your humble capabilities. There are actually a reasonable number of time vehicle mechanics to choose from. Take a look at our CLASSIFIEDS section. But since it’s not always possible to contact these miracle workers, see step 5B.
5B. Attempt to repair damage yourself. Definitely not recommended for those with no technical knowledge of how time travel works. Odds are it’s this lack of know-how that got you into this mess in the first place so you would probably be better off getting a professional to look at your vehicle, Scrooge.
6. Locate your emergency supply of alcohol or sedatives. If for some reason your supply has disappeared or run out perhaps your survey of the surroundings produced an alternate source of obtaining the needed stimulation. In any case, broken time machines are stressful and it could be awhile until help comes…of course if you are a completely prepared time traveler, you are a competent enough mechanic yourself to figure out what is wrong with your machine and signaling for help is completely unnecessary. But maybe the booze is still a good idea. Just wait until after you’ve made the repairs…and arrived at your destination. Now that we think about it, is this how you got into this mess in the first place?
We hope these suggestions help you out should you ever be unlucky enough to be stranded in an unfamiliar place with no clue how you got there or how to get out. If for any reason you think that sending US some kind of a message should this fate befall you is a good idea, please do not send us video or holographic messages. If you use the right data format, we will be happy to try and help you. But under no circumstances are we to be held accountable for any negative impact that might result from the application of this advice. Back to top
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